My classes ended last week and this week I've been trying to apply again since the summer semester begins on the 8th of June. However, I've been getting error messages when I try to sign up for classes since I need to be approved first. I had passed everything but I kept getting this error. I did send an email yesterday but no one has replied back.
Honestly, I'm not surprised. This semester has been nothing but fuck-ups. If I'm not able to register, I'm out of the program which is quite relieving for me, so I'm not really in a rush or too worried about this. If I am able to register, then I'd continued to be screwed over. The reason I don't have much say is because my family and mostly everyone keeps trying to guilt me into staying. I don't have much say, since I'm at their mercy because I don't (and can't have a job) because it's too much to keep studying and working. The inconsistent bullshit at school has practically festered into an environment that I can't learn and am generally uncomfortable with. I also haven't purchased some textbooks I need for class since my fate is uncertain and I don't want to waste more money.
If I had my way, I'd have some sort of job and be working instead. The longer I stay in school, the more I realize that "higher education" is a waste of money. What you learn doesn't compensate for the money wasted on it. I've had no luck in getting jobs when I was actively seeking work, when I finally did everything got worse when they assigned us a shitty manager. I abruptly quit on her, just like she abruptly changed my schedule to night shift. Actually, I had quit even before starting that shift. No one can control what's not there. I feel this same way with school. My patience is worn out and their excuses are pathetic. Give me the perfect pretext and I'm out of there.
However, I made the mistake of befriending someone who is too clingy. She keeps trying to encourage me to stay. She's older than me, but then I don't think she's come to realize that school-formed bonds are weak. I've tried my best not to befriend anyone, they may not make it later on, in terms of school. We won't all graduate together, which is what happens in these sorts of things, plus they keep shuffling us around. I've become mostly independent, that I just jump in and work with others. But the thing about my classmates, it's hard to know who you can trust. Some want to work together so we all could pass, while others are competitively cutthroat. I've been so used to being the odd-one, that all I know is to work alone. I treat everyone as possible competition, until I can figure out how they are.
As much as I like to compete because it satisfies my need to dominate people, I prefer to work together. I hate teamwork, but that's usually because I get stuck on teams with absolutely no type of chemistry. Then there is one person who wants to run everything but they are unfit to lead, so I have to constantly fight my instinct to take over. I don't like being with these sorts of people but I'm convinced if I do go on, I will have to encounter more of them. Then I have to drive to this distant hospital that's 26.8 miles (43 km) one way. I'm terrified of driving on the freeway and I have to do this twice a week. I don't care about this "only being for a bit", you want me to work at a fucking hospital after being completely stressed out? No one understands this. Even now, I don't think you'd understand it either.TL;DR - I'm having trouble registering for classes but I see this as a good thing. --
Also the little kittens are doing well. They're learning how to walk.
I've also starting writing this fic that's just a messed-up lewd furry story. If you don't like that kind of stuff, then don't read anything that's titled "Garden of Heaven: The Ephemeral Engagement".