I want to give Samuel L. Jackson a hug + Rant!

Okay, so that movie Snakes on a Plane, came on TV (albeit dubbed to Spanish) and I hate this movie as much as I hate The Master of Disguise. The reason I hate them is because they had an awesome concept but were poorly, poorly executed. I felt so sorry for Mr. Jackson the entire movie, he was the most reasonable character alongside that dog. Basically, this movie explains [to me] that banning pocket knives and razor blades was an awful idea. Seriously, the stupid movies I hate the most are the ones that have potential, but it gets wasted and becomes -10/10 garbage. 

I'm getting nothing done. I know what my problems are but like I always ask myself, "Is it worth it?" I don't even know anymore. All the answers telling me "Yes" all sound like the same regurgitated thing over and over again. It's been so long since I've heard a really convincing argument telling me why I shouldn't give up. I think there never was one, maybe before I was just easily impressed. If it were up to me, I'll settle for less but no; everyone around me is pressuring me to live up to their unrealistic expectations. Do they not know who I am? Figuratively-speaking, I am the type of person who'd burn myself just to see the ones tormenting me go up in flames. Whatever it takes for them to hurt more than me, by which I mean shattering their hopes and dreams. What I want doesn't matter, it never did. That's why I have no long-term goals and only live for the moment.

The holidays themselves aren't what's upsetting me, it's all the other stuff going on. If it wasn't for the holidays, I'd probably be even more upset. People who hate the holidays are way too secular and worry too much about how others see them. Since I'm neither, it's not a problem. All I want for Christmas is money. We all have too much debt that we are worried about.

I've been drawing too much, but most of it's half-assed garbage that I wouldn't even submit to scraps. However, I'm unwell and drawing has become a default therapeutic activity. But then, who cares? At least I'm drawing something and that's what matters. I need to colour too, but that's boring all I do is select, delete and erase. I want to do more traditional art, but then I hate smudging and getting my hands dirty. I took like 3 days to draw three panels of a crappy comic digitally and took like less than 45 minutes to draw a three panel comic with pencil on paper. The only thing great about digital art is that I don't have to be washing my hands often.

Don't worry, there is good news. But like, that's not part of this journal and therefore I'm not going to go into detail about that. Just know that not everything is as darkly vague as I made it out to be. :]